Nerd Wars: The Ballad of the Red Hulk
Jan 20, 2014 | Blog
A harrowing tale of an action hero wanting to break free from the confines of a tech companies office
Encased in plastic and covered in a thin veneer of dust, I stand pondering the meaning of my situation. Day after day, night after night, I stand guard, waiting for my opportunity. Were it not for the cycle of the moon and the ever-changing shadows on the walls I would lose track of time and space entirely. There is only one thing about my existence I am certain of: my destiny seems to be in the hands of the one named Beast Boy. It is a name that perplexes me. Beast Boy has no real fur to speak of, nor does he have the feet of a primate, and is not part of the X-Men. It just seems a title given as a gesture of goodwill or jest.
My prison of plastic so far has been unbreachable. Stuck here, I observe and wait.
The tiny humans seem to be caught up only in their business, completely unaware of the worlds battles raging all around them. Wait! I feel danger, my new nemesis is close. There he is, the Dog, four-legged and fur-laden with malice in his eyes. His hot breath coats my plastic prison with the stench of desperation. Pacing to and fro, he is inconsolable in his lust for me. His only joy seems to be for my wanton destruction. The Doom-bringers name is Buster. Not the typical name of an oppressor, but names are often unimportant. His deeds will tell the final story.
Desperation is now my name. Here I still stand, the Red Hulk, frozen in plastic bracing for my final confrontation when I notice salvation might be in sight. It seems Beast Boy has taken notice of my plight. There is a quick exchange of words and growls. The skirmish is quickly over. Beast Boy has banished the dog to another far off region of the office, and I have been relocated to a safer location away from the edge of his desk.
The danger has been removed but my desire to pummel the world’s oppressors goes unfulfilled. So for now, I sit, waiting for another opportunity to escape my prison, comforted in the fact the Beast Boy appears to have no malice towards me and strangely enough seems to be my friend.
I need to be free!
Tags: Hulk, Red Hulk, tech